Minimizing the trivial?

Someone on my chat line said she noticed a woman in her church, weeping sadly after Mass. When she went over to check on her, the woman sobbed, “The pastor told me he wouldn’t give me Communion if I knelt from now on.”

In another instance, someone is chastised because they don’t wear a chapel veil to church. Someone else is reprimanded because they do cover their head when they attend Mass.

My husband worked with the altar boys at our church. We got a lot of unsolicited advice to pass on to the boys. One woman cornered me and demanded to know why the altar boys weren’t kneeling to receive Communion when they served. Someone else says we have to do something about the boys who aren’t wearing black, shiny dress shoes to serve Mass.

Remarks are made behind people’s backs about the length of their dresses, criticized because they might wear slacks, maligned because they don’t care to wear jeans.

People seem to be watching each other rather than praying at Mass as they can tell you who stood at the correct time, who received in the hand, who was in the confession line again or who should be in the confession line in their opinion.

I had someone confide in me that she didn’t think a particular family said the Rosary together every evening like her family did!

Most of these people usually end their shared thoughts with, “We should really pray for them,” but do they? And how do they approach our Lord in prayer? Like the Pharisee - “Lord! See how I am doing right, not like those other people!”

There is enough confusion in the Church and the world these days. There is simply not enough room on the Throne of God for all of us to sit in judgement. As you read over the sampling of complaints and criticisms, you may notice a common thread - triviality. If the people perceived to be in ‘error’ would follow all the freely given advice to a tee, would it gain them Heaven? Would the person offering the ‘corrections’ earn a higher place in eternity because they took it upon themselves to judge?

I spoke to a pastor about the kneeling vs. standing for reception of Communion. He said he would never refuse Communion to someone just because they knelt. Why? Because receiving our Lord in the Holy Eucharist is not a time to deal with trivialities.

The long ago reasons for covering one’s head no longer really apply. Wearing a chapel veil is a private decision. Unless word comes down from Rome dealing specifically with this, you should enjoy and allow the freedom to chose.

Many times, the most dependable altar boys seemed to come from large families. If you haven’t dealt with the costs of clothing more than a couple of children, you can’t understand the tight budget many of us are on. To pontificate on what kind of shoes an altar boy wears, ignoring the fact that he is there and devout, isn’t productive and is hurtful.

Spending your time of Thanksgiving after Communion to check out the fashions or demeanor of your fellow parishioners isn’t going to further your cause for heaven. Nobody cares and if they do, they shouldn’t!
It all comes down to charity and obedience. Our example of obedience done in a charitable manner overcomes the trivialities. We won’t always agree but Jesus has informed us that we must all, indeed, love.