Mysteries that impede my sanity!

I have often wondered if having children results in mysteries or if mysteries naturally come about because children are present or if there is some web site known only to children where they exchange ideas on how to baffle their parents.

In spite of the ongoing tragedy of the single-sock-syndrome, I took a chance and assigned the laundry chores to my Then eight and ten year old daughters. A family of six produces a good amount of laundry so it is almost imperative to keep the washer going for at least three loads every day. The girls work hard on this task, however, you can never depend on getting back what you toss into the dirty clothes hamper. There have been times I have checked the laundry room for possible laundry hiding places but there seems to be an other-worldly holding pattern for missing laundry items. Nothing (except half pairs of socks) ever disappears forever but the wait can be from one day to a year.

We all have our personal habits about when we throw in our donations to the hamper. One son likes to accumulate a week’s worth before turning it into the care of the washer and dryer. The amazing things is that of the seven pairs of socks he turns in, some come back as one sock even though all the laundry has been washed, dried and returned. Handkerchiefs tend to migrate seasonally. All you have to do is buy another six of them to have twenty immediately find their way home.

It doesn’t always work on a deficit level. One time my husband tossed in his dress shirt after work only to find it washed, ironed and back in the closet the next morning. If you have three pairs of jeans, wear one pair, put two in the laundry, you can end up with no jeans the next day.

Laundry detergent and softener sheets are not always used in proportion to the amount of laundry done. Thank goodness for the warehouse deals available now although I have had nightmares of barrel after barrel of detergent being delivered as quickly as the empty ones pile up in the backyard.

I have also found that facial tissue presents problems. And for some reason, the tissue doesn’t have to even be in the vicinity of the laundry room to end up in tattered strands and flakes midst the dried clothing.

Since I have little time to do all the chores that need doing in order to keep a home running smoothly, I have learned to cope with the every day crises provided by the laundry. I have practiced holding my temper, cut down on the yelling and learned to rinse out by hand anything I may want to wear within the next three weeks. My sense of well-being did totter a bit last week. I discovered a sock among the folded laundry that didn’t belong to anyone in the family. It was only one sock and very distinctive. I am pretty sure I would remember it entering the house. It was black with orange trim and little ghosts all over it. I don’t dare throw it away as the shock of seeing it appear again and again would totally unnerve me. No use tampering with one’s sanity any more than one needs to!

Are you kidding?

Real life gems reported on the Internet:

☺A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No, you fool!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

☺Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the line up to repeat the word, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”

☺Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.

☺In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

That's the idea!

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

George Bernard Shaw