The holiday season is upon us and I find that I am still remiss in being all that I can be as a cook and hostess. A friend gave me a stack of culinary arts magazines which have done nothing for my self esteem. I am so lacking in all respects.
For one thing, the basics in my pantry do not line up with the recommended items called for in establishing a gourmet collection of necessities. Caviar, pate', savory crackers, imported cheeses, and artichoke hearts will never let you down when you have unexpected company. The only thing I have in my cupboard for toast points is peanut butter.
In an effort to better myself, I have tried researching recipes but I think they write them in a different language. Quick Ratatouille with Polenta slowed down fast as I didn't have either eggplant or a fennel bulb on hand. As for cooked and refrigerated polenta, it didn't happen.
And when the recipe is for Lobster Chowder, there seems to be an unspoken assumption that you have leftover lobster. Our budget prohibits lobster from entering our premises. The only way one could show up would be a really, really bad hurricane that would send the ocean depths this far inland.
What happened to mashed potatoes? One does not partake of potatoes under such mundane terminology. It is Potato Puree. To insure that your children will not eat it, go with Roasted Garlic Potato Puree.
My husband is hungry when he comes home and Warm Wasabi Sushi Rice Salad and Red Curry-Carrot Reduction would certainly put our marriage into counseling!
I have even been putting my ingredients together incorrectly. One should not fry, but braise. Nothing is covered anymore but enrobed. You don't just mix, you incorporate. And remember, it is not just salad, it is greens. If you can recognize any of the greens in your bowl, then you didn't do it right.
From all my reading, in order to do the Thanksgiving meal correctly, the menu should look something like this: Gently roasted turkey, rubbed with parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme . . . you may hum here. Potato, Carrot, & Turnip Puree with a choice of braised asparagus or baby spring peas enrobed with a creme sauce. Said turkey should be stuffed with imported bread crumbs, dried apple rings, chestnuts (home roasted, naturally) and fennel. When in doubt, always use fennel. The dinner rolls you can bake in your spare time using spring water and freshly ground wheat. Make sure you have enough Pimiento Butter and Cranberry Pineapple Relish on hand.
Sigh . . . Looks like another holiday season will escape un-enrobed and un-incorporated. I don't think it will be a sin but if it is, may I braise in . . . never mind!
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