It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Jeff's".
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive, you might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population
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