Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Cheese Crisp Crackers & Pork Party Snack
An easy recipe to go with the drinks for New Year's.
Cheese Crisp Crackers
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup finely grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
Pinch of cayenne to taste
Cream the butter until smooth. Add the cheese and cayenne and mix until well-combined. Stir in the flour and mix until it comes together in a ball. Chill for two hours.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or use vegetable oil spray.
Form dough into approximately one-inch balls. A cookie scoop comes in handy here! Place on prepared baking sheet about an inch apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes until golden brown.
Pork Party Snacks
1 pound spicy/hot pork sausage
2 cups Bisquick or biscuit mix
1 1/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment or use vegetable oil spray.
Mix all the ingredients together to thoroughly combine. Form into approximately one-inch balls and bake for about 30 minutes.
Cheese Crisp Crackers
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup finely grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
Pinch of cayenne to taste
Cream the butter until smooth. Add the cheese and cayenne and mix until well-combined. Stir in the flour and mix until it comes together in a ball. Chill for two hours.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or use vegetable oil spray.
Form dough into approximately one-inch balls. A cookie scoop comes in handy here! Place on prepared baking sheet about an inch apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes until golden brown.
Pork Party Snacks
1 pound spicy/hot pork sausage
2 cups Bisquick or biscuit mix
1 1/2 cups sharp cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment or use vegetable oil spray.
Mix all the ingredients together to thoroughly combine. Form into approximately one-inch balls and bake for about 30 minutes.
A Recipe for Friendship (found on the Internet)
A Recipe for Friendship
Two cups of understanding
A tablespoon of wit,
A dash of real compassion,
A inch or two of grit,
A jigger full of loyalty
On which you can depend.
Mix them all together
Party Fruit Punch Time!
New Year's Eve and the best place to be on a busy night is home by the fire with friends and family. No need to deal with the drunken drivers and rowdy crowds. A nice way to welcome in the New Year and remember the milestones of 2013 is conversation over a tangy drink.
Party Fruit Punch
1 quart apple cider
1 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cinnamon stick
6 whole cloves
A tiny pinch of allspice
Simmer all the ingredients together until hot and fragrant. Busy day? Put them all in a crock pot four hours ahead of your party. The nice thing about this recipe is that you can add a nip or two of your favorite 'stronger' beverage and turn it into an adult drink.
Hot Spicy Cider
1 gallon apple cider (apple juice is okay, too)
6 cinnamon sticks
Generous pinch of whole allspice
10 whole cloves
Three strips of Lemon zest
Three strips of Orange zest
1/2 cup brown sugar (granulated sugar is fine, too)
Place the whole spices in a tied piece of cheesecloth. This makes it easier to retrieve them before serving. Add the rest of the ingredients to a large pot and simmer for approximately 30 minutes.
Party Fruit Punch
1 quart apple cider
1 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 cinnamon stick
6 whole cloves
A tiny pinch of allspice
Simmer all the ingredients together until hot and fragrant. Busy day? Put them all in a crock pot four hours ahead of your party. The nice thing about this recipe is that you can add a nip or two of your favorite 'stronger' beverage and turn it into an adult drink.
Hot Spicy Cider
1 gallon apple cider (apple juice is okay, too)
6 cinnamon sticks
Generous pinch of whole allspice
10 whole cloves
Three strips of Lemon zest
Three strips of Orange zest
1/2 cup brown sugar (granulated sugar is fine, too)
Place the whole spices in a tied piece of cheesecloth. This makes it easier to retrieve them before serving. Add the rest of the ingredients to a large pot and simmer for approximately 30 minutes.
Friday, December 27, 2013
The Santa Issue isn't what is hurting the unborn . . .
This Christmas season there was an ongoing argument on the race of Santa Claus and Jesus. Suddenly, it was very important to settle this because minority children, specifically black children, were being adversely affected by this. A favorite columnist of mine, suggested that instead of worrying about Santa and where he came from, perhaps we should focus on the tragic problem at hand . . . that many of these children will never see the light of day or have a Christmas to worry about the ethnic portrayal of Santa.
http://mychal-massie.com/premium/black-children-safer-with-white-santa-than-their-mothers/
Many of the African-American people at my church voted twice for a president who wanted to perpetuate the murder of babies in the womb. Even being Catholic, they put aside the values and morals of their Faith and voted for a political party rather than for Godly reasons.
The link to the article was very sad. King Herod wanted to kill the Baby Jesus and in his desire to do so, murdered many innocent children. The murder of the preborn is practically an industry today yet
'King Herods' still allow these deaths to happen.
http://mychal-massie.com/premium/black-children-safer-with-white-santa-than-their-mothers/
Many of the African-American people at my church voted twice for a president who wanted to perpetuate the murder of babies in the womb. Even being Catholic, they put aside the values and morals of their Faith and voted for a political party rather than for Godly reasons.
The link to the article was very sad. King Herod wanted to kill the Baby Jesus and in his desire to do so, murdered many innocent children. The murder of the preborn is practically an industry today yet
'King Herods' still allow these deaths to happen.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
No Room at the Inn?
It was a cold winter's day that Sunday...
The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer, I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost lying down as if he was asleep.
He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds, and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them. His toes stuck out.
I assumed this man was homeless and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all gathered for fellowship for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man lying outside. People snickered and gossiped, but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me.
A few moments later, church began. We all waited for the preacher to take his place and to give us the Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down.
People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit. He took off his hat and coat.
My heart sank.
There stood our preacher... he was the "homeless man."
No one said a word.
The preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand...
"Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today."
The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer, I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost lying down as if he was asleep.
He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds, and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them. His toes stuck out.
I assumed this man was homeless and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all gathered for fellowship for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man lying outside. People snickered and gossiped, but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me.
A few moments later, church began. We all waited for the preacher to take his place and to give us the Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down.
People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit. He took off his hat and coat.
My heart sank.
There stood our preacher... he was the "homeless man."
No one said a word.
The preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand...
"Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today."
– Author Unknown and Greatly
Appreciated!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Easy Monkey Bread
My favorite treat for a holiday breakfast, teatime or snack is Monkey Bread. There is something about those balls of dough, covered in butter and cinnamon/sugar that seems special. We won't count calories because anything that makes you happy, shouldn't be give a calorie number . . . at least, at Christmas time.
This is a fun recipe as you don't even have to make the dough making it a great, last-minute treat.
Monkey Bread - The Easy Way
3 cans of the refrigerated canned biscuits
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
Pinch of Nutmeg
1 stick of butter
1 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons water
Cut each biscuit into fourths and roll them in a mixture of the cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Place them in a well-greased or vegetable oil sprayed Bundt pan. Melt the butter, brown sugar, and water. boil this for 2-3 minutes and pour over the balls of biscuit dough in the Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes until it is puffed up a bit and golden. Immediately turn over onto a serving plate and get it in front of your family who probably have already gathered once the scent of sugar and cinnamon was in the air.
This is a fun recipe as you don't even have to make the dough making it a great, last-minute treat.
Monkey Bread - The Easy Way
3 cans of the refrigerated canned biscuits
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
Pinch of Nutmeg
1 stick of butter
1 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons water
Cut each biscuit into fourths and roll them in a mixture of the cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Place them in a well-greased or vegetable oil sprayed Bundt pan. Melt the butter, brown sugar, and water. boil this for 2-3 minutes and pour over the balls of biscuit dough in the Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes until it is puffed up a bit and golden. Immediately turn over onto a serving plate and get it in front of your family who probably have already gathered once the scent of sugar and cinnamon was in the air.
Christmas Cutout Cookies - There is still time!
As an adult, I've come to prefer those lumpy, bumpy cookies that are filled with all sorts of textures and fruity, chewy tastes. Children, however, seem to be drawn to the shaped sugar cookies and the more icing and decorations, the better. So, when composing a cookie plate for the holidays, one can't leave a favorite like that out.
Christmas Sugar Cookies
1 cup butter, room temperature not melted
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 large egg
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
Tiny pinch of ground nutmeg
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
Cream the butter, adding the sugar gradually, and continue beating until well-combined and fluffy. Add egg, extracts, and nutmeg. Sift or mix the dry ingredients together and blend into the butter mixture. It should gather into a ball and not be crumbly. If your dough is too dry, try adding small drops of water. Gather into a ball and refrigerate for at least an hour.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line baking sheets with parchment paper or vegetable oil spray them very lightly.
Take a portion of the dough, roll out on a floured board to a bit more than 1/4-inch thick. Cut with your choice of cookie cutters. Move to the prepared baking sheets, placing them about an inch apart. Bake for about 5 minutes or until golden around the edges and set. Let the cookies set for a few minutes when they exit the oven and then remove to a cooling rack. Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
Icing
1 cup powdered sugar
food coloring
enough milk to form a spreadable icing.
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
I use a rubber pastry brush to coat each cookie and have a helper there to immediately add whatever colorful sprinkles or sugars your might want on the cookies. Let them dry thoroughly before packing away into a container.
Christmas Sugar Cookies
1 cup butter, room temperature not melted
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 large egg
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
Tiny pinch of ground nutmeg
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/4 teaspoon salt
Cream the butter, adding the sugar gradually, and continue beating until well-combined and fluffy. Add egg, extracts, and nutmeg. Sift or mix the dry ingredients together and blend into the butter mixture. It should gather into a ball and not be crumbly. If your dough is too dry, try adding small drops of water. Gather into a ball and refrigerate for at least an hour.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line baking sheets with parchment paper or vegetable oil spray them very lightly.
Take a portion of the dough, roll out on a floured board to a bit more than 1/4-inch thick. Cut with your choice of cookie cutters. Move to the prepared baking sheets, placing them about an inch apart. Bake for about 5 minutes or until golden around the edges and set. Let the cookies set for a few minutes when they exit the oven and then remove to a cooling rack. Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
Icing
1 cup powdered sugar
food coloring
enough milk to form a spreadable icing.
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
I use a rubber pastry brush to coat each cookie and have a helper there to immediately add whatever colorful sprinkles or sugars your might want on the cookies. Let them dry thoroughly before packing away into a container.
Traditional Seven-Layer Cookies
I've seen many versions of this popular recipe over the years and no matter how you layer it, you can't beat it for a fast, sweet treat for unexpected company or an offering for a last-minute pot luck invite.
Seven-Layer Cookies
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup graham cracker crumbs*
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup toasted coconut
1/2 cup chocolate chips**
1/2 cup butterscotch chips**
1 - 14-ounce can sweetened, condensed milk
1 cup toasted, chopped nuts***
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line bottom of 9x13x2-inch pan with parchment paper or spray with
vegetable oil spray.
Combine butter, graham cracker crumbs, and vanilla until well mixed. Press into the bottom of prepared pan. Arrange the rest of the ingredients in layers as listed. Bake for approximately 30 minutes. Let cool a bit, cut into squares, and complete the cooling. Makes about 3 dozen cookies depending on size you cut them.
*If you prefer, think about using cinnamon or chocolate graham crackers.
**These days, you don't have to always go with chocolate and butterscotch chips. Consider peanut butter, white chocolate, chocolate mint . . .
***I prefer using pecans but, depending on your other flavor choices, you might like walnuts, hazelnuts, or almonds. Also, you can always throw in a fourth cup of dried cranberries, chopped dates, or chopped, dried apricots.
Seven-Layer Cookies
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup graham cracker crumbs*
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup toasted coconut
1/2 cup chocolate chips**
1/2 cup butterscotch chips**
1 - 14-ounce can sweetened, condensed milk
1 cup toasted, chopped nuts***
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line bottom of 9x13x2-inch pan with parchment paper or spray with
vegetable oil spray.
Combine butter, graham cracker crumbs, and vanilla until well mixed. Press into the bottom of prepared pan. Arrange the rest of the ingredients in layers as listed. Bake for approximately 30 minutes. Let cool a bit, cut into squares, and complete the cooling. Makes about 3 dozen cookies depending on size you cut them.
*If you prefer, think about using cinnamon or chocolate graham crackers.
**These days, you don't have to always go with chocolate and butterscotch chips. Consider peanut butter, white chocolate, chocolate mint . . .
***I prefer using pecans but, depending on your other flavor choices, you might like walnuts, hazelnuts, or almonds. Also, you can always throw in a fourth cup of dried cranberries, chopped dates, or chopped, dried apricots.
Meaning of Christmas . . .
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you; Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Merry 'Gluten-Free' Christmas!
I'm officially comfortable with cooking/baking with gluten-free recipes now that I've started to master both Thanksgiving and Christmas cookie baking. My husband took cookies to work and no one could tell there was any difference from my usual offerings to them in other years. There is a bit more to the baking but just enough for me to enjoy the challenge. No complaints and I'm anxious to try converting some of our family favorites to gluten-free. Naturally, my husband is very happy he isn't left out of the baking treats.Hope every one's baking efforts are one hundred percent successful and that a very Holy and Merry Christmas is had by all.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Black Forest Cake - The Easy Way!
Chocolate and cherry is a favorite flavor combination for my son. When I saw this recipe, I knew I had to keep it on hand and share with you.
Vegetable oil spray a 9 x13-inch baking dish. I like using the glass, Pyrex type. No such pan in your kitchen? Use a couple of layer cake pans or even a tube cake pan. Just adjust the time for the changes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
1 box chocolate cake mix - your choice.
20-ounce can of cherry pie filling
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of cinnamon
Grated zest of one orange (optional)
Combine all the ingredients in your mixing bowl and mix on medium speed until the mixture is just combined. Pour mixture into prepared pan(s). Bake for 40-45 minutes (depending on size you used for pans). Test cake by inserting a toothpick in the center of the cake. It should come out 'clean' with no wet batter.
Cool completely and serve with freshly whipped cream.
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup granulated sugar
3 tablespoons sour cream
1 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Place all the ingredients in a mixer bowl and beat until stiffened and fluffy. Don't over beat as you aren't looking for making butter here!
You can either frost your cold cake with the whipped cream or serve it along side a generous slice. The whipped cream holds up well for about three days in the refrigerator.
Vegetable oil spray a 9 x13-inch baking dish. I like using the glass, Pyrex type. No such pan in your kitchen? Use a couple of layer cake pans or even a tube cake pan. Just adjust the time for the changes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
1 box chocolate cake mix - your choice.
20-ounce can of cherry pie filling
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of cinnamon
Grated zest of one orange (optional)
Combine all the ingredients in your mixing bowl and mix on medium speed until the mixture is just combined. Pour mixture into prepared pan(s). Bake for 40-45 minutes (depending on size you used for pans). Test cake by inserting a toothpick in the center of the cake. It should come out 'clean' with no wet batter.
Cool completely and serve with freshly whipped cream.
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup granulated sugar
3 tablespoons sour cream
1 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Place all the ingredients in a mixer bowl and beat until stiffened and fluffy. Don't over beat as you aren't looking for making butter here!
You can either frost your cold cake with the whipped cream or serve it along side a generous slice. The whipped cream holds up well for about three days in the refrigerator.
Until the Cows Come Home . . .
More and more, I am observing an epidemic that is invading even the 'more polite' society of the world . . . gum chewing. Whereas the habit of chewing gum used to be with the younger, bubble gum set, is now a part of many grownups' life style. Nothing more fun than being crammed in a plane seat with a jaw-snapping gum chewer. You can often hear the popping of an ardent gum chewer an aisle or two away in the supermarket. You attend a funeral or wedding and it is not unlikely that the father of the bride will come down the aisle, jaw in motion. What is disheartening are the senior citizens who have joined the movement of the jaw.
Is open-mouthed gum chewing now considered a fashion statement? Have any of these people every taken a look in the mirror to see what they are showing others when pursuing this occupation? What is the value of a wad of gum that's been pounded between teeth for hours? The flavor is long gone. Am I out of touch because I don't indulge in the occupation?
One Sunday, I glanced over and saw a large family in an adjoining pew, all completely in rhythm as they listened to the sermon and 'kept time' with their busy jaws loaded with a wad of gum. It was like seeing a line up of cows happily ruminating on their cud.
Now, I'm not against gum. It can have it's uses but to share the contents of one's mouth to view on a constant basis and still be classy . . . sorry, it doesn't work.
Is open-mouthed gum chewing now considered a fashion statement? Have any of these people every taken a look in the mirror to see what they are showing others when pursuing this occupation? What is the value of a wad of gum that's been pounded between teeth for hours? The flavor is long gone. Am I out of touch because I don't indulge in the occupation?
One Sunday, I glanced over and saw a large family in an adjoining pew, all completely in rhythm as they listened to the sermon and 'kept time' with their busy jaws loaded with a wad of gum. It was like seeing a line up of cows happily ruminating on their cud.
Now, I'm not against gum. It can have it's uses but to share the contents of one's mouth to view on a constant basis and still be classy . . . sorry, it doesn't work.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Gluten-Free Bread . . .
I tried a recipe out of my new bread book acquisition today . . . and the family said it was definitely bread even without the use of wheat flour. It took a little longer as I wasn't used to the new method but the outcome was worth the effort. Naturally, I made an Italian pasta meal (rice pasta, of course!) and the bread sticks added the final touch. We didn't realize that we even missed bread until we ate the first bread stick! Who would think that an odd combination of ground rice, etc., would produce bread!Friday, December 6, 2013
You can bake bread and still be gluten-free?
I pre-ordered this book because it sounded amazing and, upon receipt of said book, it has more than lived up to my hopes and expectations. Gluten-Free on a Shoestring Bakes Bread by Nicole Hunn is fantastic. She has taken the work and thought out of figuring out bread and presented it to the world in a beautiful baking book. Although I haven't had time to try any recipes yet, I can tell from the reading of them that she has it 'figured' out. I've used her other two books with great success and know this new one will not disappoint. I've been waiting since July for it to finally reach my greedy, little hands!
The one thing my husband has missed since he discovered he and gluten don't agree on any level is the scent of baking bread and a warm dinner roll. I'm looking forward to treating him to this in the near future.
Just as an aside - I have been planning my Christmas baking and a lot of my cookie recipes, gluten-free, have come from either Nichole Hunn's other books or her fantastic blog. Google just about any gluten-free recipe and you are sure to have several of hers show up.
My Christmas treat for my husband - a warm loaf of bread without the adverse effects.
The one thing my husband has missed since he discovered he and gluten don't agree on any level is the scent of baking bread and a warm dinner roll. I'm looking forward to treating him to this in the near future.
Just as an aside - I have been planning my Christmas baking and a lot of my cookie recipes, gluten-free, have come from either Nichole Hunn's other books or her fantastic blog. Google just about any gluten-free recipe and you are sure to have several of hers show up.
My Christmas treat for my husband - a warm loaf of bread without the adverse effects.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
obama flowers . . . (from the Internet . . .)
(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to
ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?
(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it.I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it for years, my wife likes them.
(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
(Customer) Well, how much are they?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
(Customer) What's the difference?
(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?
(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?
(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be.But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
(Customer) FlowerAid?
(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
(Customer) Who said they were a Right?
(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a "Tax".Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
(Customer) I don't believe this...
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
(Customer) Why?
(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would be.
(Customer) WHAT? Your can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
(Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip off!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir.
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.
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