Miss Piggy Speaks . . .

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
-- Miss Piggy

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything."
-- Bill Lyon

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
-- Calvin Trillin