A quote to live by!

Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it.
Pope John Paul II

A smile for today!

I loved this joke reading list and had to share!

CHILDREN'S BOOKS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers, and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go To Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's It! I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, but You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes the Hamster ... and Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man on the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals
of North Amer -- Hey, Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
30. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers

Apple Season!

The fires in California are finally under control. Our favorite place to buy apples in the Fall, Oak Glen, was completely saved from the fires. At one point, it didn't look good but with God's blessing, lots of prayers, and terrific firemen, not a tree or home was lost.

We went up the day after they lifted the evacuation ban to see how some friends fared. They weren't back yet but just seeing their grove and house still standing was wonderful. We made a trip on Labor Day and they were back and selling their wonderful apples. We purchased a lot as evidenced by the apple pies in the refrigerator. For some reason, the family didn't mind me turning on the oven for that!

All the apple eating must be inspiring me as I finished five tote bags today and started in on a quilted vest with printed fabric of Our Lady of Guadeloupe.

I did find something besides apples on our recent visit to Oak Glen. We stopped to get some cash, I looked up, and there was a wall of the most beautiful quilting fabric in a corner of the gift shop! Not only that but the owner of the store was a quilter, too, so we could both talk with some 'authority'. Since I had just been to my favorite fabric warehouse a couple of weeks ago, I didn't give into temptation and left Oak Glen with only apples!

Cooler weather, thoughts of baking . . .

Although we are no where near cold temperatures yet, we are learning to feel blessed when the mercury goes below 100 degrees! I prefer colder weather because it I can show off my vocation as a housewife more fully - I can bake, stew, simmer, and enjoy the way the food smells and how it helps to warm the house!

With thoughts of frost on the ground (hey, it can happen in California!), I have been going through my stacks of old magazines searching for new recipes. This one seemed like a good find and I plan to try it soon.

1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 sticks of butter
2 cups granulated sugar
1 tablespoon finely grated orange zest
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon orange extract (if you have it)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
5 large eggs

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a large tube pan 20 by 4-inch.

In a large bowl with an electric mixer cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Lower speed on mixer and gradually add flour and baking powder. Beat in extracts, zest. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Once the eggs are all incorporated, beat for an additional five minutes.

Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for approximately one hour and 15 minutes. Test for doneness after one hour. Cool cake in pan on a cooling rack for about 30 minutes. Turn the cake onto the rack and cool completely.

You can drizzle the cake with an icing composed of 1 cup powdered sugar and enough lemon juice to form an icing.

Is suffering REALLY in our vocabulary . . .

Someone called a talk show host and asked what she could do to stop eating so much. The talk show host said it all depended on how much she was willing to suffer for the end results.

You think back on the Early Christians and how they were willing AND able to suffer much for what they believed in when it came to their Faith. I imagine they were pretty strong people in all aspects of their life, too. I don't think you can suddenly be martyr material if you don't have some discipline in your every day life and actions.

In the years that followed our first Christians, we have built a seemingly large religion but, behind the outward appearance, we have so many divisions. The Catholic vote put an adamant anti-life candidate into the White House. If so many Catholics weren't willing to stand up for the unseen, unborn, how will they stand up for a Faith and God they have to trust is there even without the physical appearance? How much are they willing to SUFFER for their Faith?

According to the lastest statistics, we are just about even in population when it comes to the Muslim Faith. In a few years, it is estimated that the Muslims will far exceed the Catholic population. The reason? Muslims aren't afraid to suffer for what they believe in. They aren't afraid to bring children into the world. It is said that the birth of a child is God's renewed interest in the world or something to that effect.

We had some Catholic friends who married about the same time we did and they were proud of the fact that they WOULD use birth control and that no 'guy wearing a dress in Rome' was going to tell them what they could or could not do. Not to be judgmental, but they didn't come across as martyr material!

Yes, we have programs in our Church to promote our Faith but it seems to be that raising children in our Faith will go further in increaing our Church. The Muslims have figured this out and could eventually outnumber us and be a threat to our way of life. They have the suffering down and wouldn't think twice about being a martyr. Meanwhile, I have met too many Catholics who limit their families in order to provide all the material things they want for their children.

It will be an interesting Judgement Day when we find out how many children we should have had and how they would have impacted the world.

The difference between men and women - explained!

Found this, years ago, on the Internet and it is a favorite of mine. Thought I'd share!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks
her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.

A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a
while, neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine,
and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that,
as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. . . To Elaine, it seems like a
very loud silence. She thinks to herself:
Jeez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been
confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him
some kind of obligation that he want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way
we are, moving steadily toward. I mean, where are we going? Are we just
going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading
toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for
that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So that means it was ...let's see ...February
when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's,
which means...lemme check the odometer. Whoa! I am way overdue for an
oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm
reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed
it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's
why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of
being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting
right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What
cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage
truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,
too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the
way I feel. I'm just not sure.

and Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty.
Scumbags! And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do
care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never
have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I
reallyknow that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,
tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he
thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel
that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves
a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her
bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the
TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match
between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses
of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car,
but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and
so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In
painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything
he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word,
expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe
months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of
his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, "Norm,
did Elaine ever own a horse?"

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the difference between men and women!

Signs of a Liturgist . . .

Signs of inhabitation by a Liturgeist

Olympic swim team tryouts are held in your baptismal font
Your church is more bleak than a Turkish prison
The only icon in the church is the picture of the Dalai Lama on the
priest's stole
The priest's stole is any color but white, Red, Purple, Green, Old Rose,
Gold, or black (unless used together as a plaid).
The homilies have the depth and theological exactness of a Barney song
The music is not elevating but fit for an elevator
They use every musical instrument created but the organ
The last time you heard the word sacrifice was at a baseball game
People kneeling to receive Communion are zapped with a stun gun and taken
outside
The word sister always precedes the word brother
Male pronouns have been banned by a liturgical interdict
The document "Environment and Art in Catholic Worship" is carried in and
held up instead of the Bible
Vatican II is extensively quoted but no documents of this council can be
found anywhere on church grounds
Confession is held for an hour on January 29th.
Extraordinary Eucharist Ministers are stationed at every row, if there is
a concelebrating priest he is bound and gagged until after the EEMs are
done
Liturgical dance, enough said
Liturgeist vocabulary to watch out for includes: worship space, inclusive
language, participation, worship environments, assembly, Easter people,
presider. Words never used are dogma, doctrine, Ratzinger (unless with a
sneer), GIRM, orthodoxy, man or mankind; if these words are used or
reverence is given to the Holy Father than subject is not a Liturgeist.
Liturgeist disturbances can also be detected in the "The raising arm
effect." This can be seen if the arms of Jesus have broken away from the
cross and are directed upwards. Depending on the intensity of Liturgeist
activity sometimes the cross will appear to be entirely gone. The
"raising arm effect" can also be detected prior to the Our Father where
peoples arms mysteriously levitate and through some magnetic force their
hands become attached to those next to them.
If any of these Liturgeist disturbances are detected, run don't walk to
your Bishop. In normal circumstances the parish priest should be gone to
first, but once this activity has been detected he has usually been
neutralized by the hypnotic effects of the Liturgeist. Your Bishop will
then appoint a priest who he has given the faculties for conducting the
"Rite of Liturgical Exorcism."

Rite of Liturgical Exorcism

The Liturgical Exorcist begins with the sign of the cross, and then a
sprinkling of Holy Water on the Liturgeist. It has been reported that
Liturgeists are deathly afraid of Holy Water. This has been noticed
because of their habit of putting everything in a Holy Water Font except
Holy Water.
The Liturgical Exorcist then traces a cross on the Liturgeists forehead
using the The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM). A number of
helpers are required to hold the Liturgeist down since they will struggle
with supernatural strength to resist the GIRM.
At this point the Liturgeist will usually start supplicating to the
spirit of Vatican II for help. If they start quoting anything, the
Liturgical Exorcist asks for a reference to an actual Vatican II
document. The Liturgeist will normally show symptoms of shock at this
point.
The Liturgical Exorcist will then begin reading from James Akin's "Mass
Confusion" while any of the faithful present chant "Orthodoxy." Again,
make sure enough people are present to hold the Liturgeist down during
this reading.
If the Liturgeists starts to calm down during the reading of "Mass
Confusion" and says an occasionally Amen, then the Liturgical Exorcism is
successful. This can be verified by having the subject read from the GIRM
or look at a picture of Cardinal Ratzinger with no ill effects.
A Liturgeist with a university degree is especially hard to eradicate,
much prayer and fasting will be required.